Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize