you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
