belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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