HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
