Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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