I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
