I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
