Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
