It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
