how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bring me that man meat
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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