Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
please come you make the beer taste better
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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