first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
