did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
