Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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