i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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