What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
