I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I looked at my own cervix.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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