The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
