hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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