I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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