Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
