just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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