everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
