i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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