Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i wish my penis had a tongue
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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