so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
