I wish I could punch you in the face.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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