You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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