these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
