what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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