At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
