I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
