like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize