I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
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THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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