Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
