dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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