Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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