I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
