wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
