Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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