Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
