It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
