I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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