it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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