as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
