Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize