im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
