So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
