All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
