Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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