are you so shy because you have an std?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
