I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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