you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
