I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
