I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
