TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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