i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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