break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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