help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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