Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
