I look better un-naked...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
