Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Randomize
