but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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